Story written by Steve Robinson for the Claremore Museum of History in conjunction with excerpts from her obituary written by Steve Robinson for her memorial service.
This week, we gathered to honor a life that quietly and consistently made our community better. Many people loved to refer to Lou Flanagan as Claremore’s First Lady, although she always cringed when she heard it. But that was who she was – even after Bill’s passing, Lou was still our community’s First Lady. This week, we came together not only to mourn her loss, but to celebrate her legacy—a legacy built through her service, her compassion, and her belief that one person truly can make a difference.
Now that the new release of Wicked is out, when one listens to the words of the title song “Because I knew her, I have been changed For Good”, it is only natural to think about Lou Flanagan. It is our belief that nearly everyone who reads this tribute will agree that they can say the same.
You’ve heard the saying that friends come into our lives in one of three ways….for a reason, for a season and for a lifetime.
Let’s consider Lou’s lifetime friendships. For those who read this tribute that are not lifetime friends, I’m sure you are a bit jealous of those who are. When you have invested a lifetime of service like Lou did, your sphere of influence is great. Everyone knew Lou was involved in many organizations, but upon reading her obituary, which didn’t cover all of her service organizations, one has to be exhausted! It is only natural to wonder how on earth she made time for so many causes, but she always found a way!
If you knew Lou, you knew she was always a defender of children and an advocate for the underdog. Whether she was planning activities for kids at the MoH, volunteering for the William Barnes Children’s Advocacy Center, supporting an RSU initiative or helping out Claremore Main Street – she always wanted to ensure everyone could participate and everyone’s voice could be heard.
Her work in helping women rehabilitate after incarceration and helping children who were impacted by parents who were incarcerated was nothing short of lifechanging. Because of her professional experience as well as the impact of her volunteering, she was appointed by the Governor to serve on the State of Oklahoma’s Post Adjudication Review Board.
If you are one of those lucky people that knew Lou for a lifetime we are quite certain that, because you knew her, your life has definitely been changed – for good.
While I can’t say I was a lifetime friend, I can say that Lou came into my life both for a reason and for a season. I’d like to share a little bit about our “season of friendship”. I met Lou and we began our friendship in 2020 when I joined the board of the Claremore Museum of History. My “season” of transitioning from the corporate working world where volunteering was a corporate “duty” to my new life being retired and having time now to volunteer because I wanted to was one where I looked to Lou who I believed had mastered the art of volunteering. I had a lot to learn about volunteering on a personal level versus a corporate level where I could just assign and projects I was volunteering on to my staff. Working with true “volunteers” was a whole new game where I needed to motivate people to help me with my projects.
You see, what made Lou so special to me wasn’t only what she did with her time, but how she did it and why she did it. She led with kindness. She inspired me through example. Lou made people feel included, valued, and seen. In every challenge, Lou sought solutions—not because she desired credit, but because she cared.
Lou was the kind of leader who never needed a spotlight. Lou’s leadership showed itself in small acts of kindness, in long hours spent helping others, in a willingness to listen when someone needed to be heard. She taught us that service is not about recognition—it is about choosing to lift others up – simply because it is the right thing to do. Through our “season of friendship” I can say that Lou Flanagan changed not just me, but the entire Board of Directors at Claremore Museum of History, her PEO organization and all the other causes that she volunteered for. Because we knew her. We had been changed – for good.
Finally I’d like to share the reason I believe God blessed me by crossing my life path with Lou’s. The reason for our friendship was a very personal one. It was our joint cancer journey. Once again, I had something to learn.
I found out I was Stage IV liver and colon cancer in August of 2022. Lou was one of the first people to encourage me, to lift me up to offer her support in every way possible. Bill was also fighting his cancer battle at the time, so we were each other’s cheerleaders, prayer partners and confidants. She connected me with MD Anderson and we would joke that we should coordinate our trips there.
I remember the days where I didn’t feel well and couldn’t handle commitments – Lou ALWAYS stepped forward and would cover for me. People asked me how I still participated in everything during my surgeries and chemo treatments, but the truth was I didn’t – Lou and I did. When she stepped in, it wasn’t even noticeable to our partners. The next two years included my treatments, Lou losing Bill and then her also losing her sister to this horrific disease. Praise the Lord my cancer journey has been one where I can say I am nearly 3 years cancer free now, but when Lou got her diagnosis, I knew I needed to step up for her just like she had done for me, for Bill and for Rita.
Lou’s battle was different than mine but what amazed me is that she didn’t let her situation slow her down. Literally Lou would leave a chemo or radiation treatment and then ask her daughter Tiffany to take her to a civic function afterward. I remember when Lou first knew something was wrong and was going in for some test results. We had a function at the museum that evening and when Lou arrived, I was the only one there but I could tell that she had been crying. She didn’t say a word, didn’t complain or show any fear. People started arriving and you wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. I marveled at how she managed that event as if nothing had changed.
I remember telling Lou, I felt like she was writing a step by step self-help book for all of us to follow on how to keep giving of one’s self during trying physical battles. The courage she portrayed, never uttering a single complaint in the face of all her discouraging news was nothing short of inspiring.
None of us know our future – EVER. But we know the one who does, and we know that HE holds us in the palm of his hand and that HE has a plan. I KNOW that Lou taught me a special lesson straight from our Heavenly Father on how to handle adversity of the most difficult kind. Out of our “reason “for friendship, I know once again – Because I knew Lou, I had been changed – for good.
We will always remember Lou’s steady presence, her generosity, her unwavering commitment to making Claremore a little better. And though her physical presence has left us, the impact of Lou’s work and the warmth of her spirit will remain forever woven into the fabric of our community.
The greatest measure of a servant leader is not in the titles they held, but in the lives they touched. By that measure, Lou lived a truly extraordinary life. As we say goodbye this morning, she would want us all to carry on her example—serving others with open hearts, leading with humility, and striving each day to build the kind of community she believed in.
When I think of Lou, the words to this song will always ring true.
I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.
It well may be that we may never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part. So much of me is made of what I learned from you – you’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart.
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a Sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
Because I knew her. Because WE knew her. We have been changed – for good.
